AS I REFLECT ON 0/9 I GIVE THANKS AND PRAISE!
This year was a doosey. Emotionally the most trying of my entire life but,also the most fulfilling on many levels. I lost a few people I really loved this year all of them young people who I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to. In the wake of this I also found love and tossed aside a bunch of juvenile baggage I was tied to including making peace with my older sister in the wake of a bunch of things. We hadn’t spoke in almost 4 years since my mom got sick and honestly it’s one of the best presents I could ever have and it gives me a deeper form of inner peace.
I lost my older wiser brother from another Andy Kessler this summer and in doing so became a lot closer with a few people as we bonded over our love and respect for Andy and all he was about. I thank Andy for bringing Dennis McNett in to my life, for bringing me and my running buddy Steve Olson closer together in the wake of his passing and if it was at all possible Haze and myself also got to know each other that much better. Losing Kessler, Sean Mortenson, Dash Snow, DJ AM, my little homie ( he wasn’t little anymore but will always be my little homie) Anthony Roc Raida Williams one of the nicest people who ever lived all showed me one thing in they’re passing. Tomorrow is never promised and this is an absolute truth.
All of this made me understand the need to let people close to you know you love em,appreciate them and respect them. It made me know not to waste time on lames and focus and whats truly important and righteous in this world: My family, My friends and my connection to a higher power. Losing Andy made me see this so much clearer than I ever had before. His selflessness inspired me to make peace with a bunch of people and to keep it moving with several others who were just frustrating and bringing me down. Another gift from my departed friend.
In his and my other friends passing I also found the message of compassion and forgiveness. I can not say honestly that I am not mad at Dash for checking out too early and how he passed or wondering if I could have done something to help Sean Mortenson more in his times of need or wished I knew AM that much better and could have done something for him like he had done for several mutual friends over the years. That all said I now possess a deeper understanding of life and whats really important and what is worthless. This is another gift from my departed friends who in checking out way too soon made me realize that life is the greatest gift in the world. My want to continue to create, write, work,report live and be inspired is as vibrant as ever. I want to continue the legacy I have started and in doing so I want to further Andy Kesslers legacy of helping people in need and encouraging the youths to skateboard,be creative and stay positive.
I am truly blessed and sometimes I forget it. With Andy gone some of his mission/want to help Harry Jumonji our boy who has battled drugs for over 20 years has been transferred to me and it is a responsibility I gladly accept for many reasons. Every time I inter act with Harry which is daily I see Kessler in him, I hear Kessler voice and his message in my head loud and clear and it is a responsibility I am proud to have for better or worse. All of this has helped me come to terms with my mothers mortality, her debilitating battle with Alzheimer’s and how to deal/cope/accept it and make the best of it. In the wake of all of this my father battled liver cancer and after a cycle of chemo is doing good and seemingly will be fine knock on wood/god bless. He will be here over the Holidays with me and for that I am so thankful. I just wish Andy could be here with us as he always wanted to meet my dad and he never got the chance. They would have dug each other for sure.
Not to be too heavy but sometimes life is more than sneakers and tee shirts,blog posts and new rap songs. When it is I’m actually psyched most of the time for better or for worse. I am not scared of anything life can throw my way after this year. Life wasn’t all tragedy and tears though. Somewhere along the way God sent me a wonderful woman named Alexi who stood by my side through all of this and more and for her, for Andy’s lessons of compassion, for my dad beating cancer and for having Jumonji with me clean and sober I give massive thanks and praise to something much bigger than you or I. It does not matter what you call him God,Buddha, Jesus, Allah or Krishnamurti all that matters is that we recognize something bigger than us/we.
As they say at community every Sunday It’s all about love and understanding, deeds not creeds and for me that message rings louder than ever before and for all that brought me to this place I say thank you.
Just my thoughts over the holidays after a mean day of shopping and finishing up my gig for the year. Be easy people!
God Bless
Dante Ross
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Thanks for writing this Dante. Needed words today. 2009 hasn’t been easy on many of us. Christmas is a hard time to take stock in the lives that slipped through our fingers and were lost. Seems the older we get the more apparent the fragility of life becomes. I hope 2010 brings you happiness. I have reread your words and I’m trying to cull the wisdom from it for my own perspective. Bless.
December 25th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
You’re a personal hero of mine since the beginning of De La so its great to see your progression and these words really hit home and help to put a lot into perspective.
Hope the holidays are good to you and I look forward to seeing what you bring to 2010 and beyond….
Thanks
December 28th, 2009 at 12:40 am
I’m glad I read this. I was sitting here reflecting on just the negative things this year but totally not taking into account the good things as well. This was a very good read.
Black Dante Ross
December 28th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Dante Ross..Happy Holy Days!..the grandman!! This is DJ Books…I would like to talk to u asap about this Brand Nubian mixtape WE’RE about to do in the next 2 wks since u were so instrumental in the beginning….love the blog…if u have the time google my name and see what comes up as i’m a mostly 90’s/best of/throwback mixtape dj…”dj books mixtapes”..best of de la soul, best of A.T.C.Q, best of native tongues, best of rakim, best of pete rock & c.l. smooth, best of the juice crew, best of big pun, etc, etc…if u find the time please email me…Peace.
thethievestheme@gmail.com
keyvon3@yahoo.com