THE PAST, THE PRESENT AND WAVING BYE BYE
Recently I have had to face the uncomfortable task of confronting elements of my life that I no longer want to be associated with. I have tried tremendously to project positivity to the world while often having a sour disposition, a juxtaposition that is complicated and bothersome even for myself. I was reminded of a life of negativity once to often in a clear cut fashion this morning and decided the past is the past and looking back at certain people and actions are worthless as I no longer have any sentimentality attached to them. No matter how exciting or thrilling these people or actions may have been in my youth, the balance of time and accomplishment have made me look at these elements and people in my life as nothing more than negative people and actions put forth in to the world. I have found the ability to cut my ties so to speak, to move on and to continue to evolve as opposed to dragging my toe through the gutter of life.
My love of creativity whether my own or my peers is what drives me, what inspires me and what makes me truly happy. Balancing these positives with my oft sour feelings for certain people or elements of the culture and my own inner social scene are sometimes a hard balancing act and one I have decided to no longer attempt to do. From now on I simply will not open the door for vultures and sycophants to enter my world or head space regardless of a so called 20 plus year “Friendship” of sorts. Losing friends who have only been positives while never being draining through the tough times and the sunshine has made me realize this. No matter how cold hearted it may be it is time for me to exorcise the negatives including my own personal demons from the equation that is called my psyche. It is a literal dropping off of baggage so to speak both human and mental and in this time of reflection I thank my family for instilling morals,ethics, compassion and love in my heart. Without these things I am nothing.
It has taken me a lifetime of sorts to come the this place and hopefully I will remain above the fray for the rest of my days. They’re are no guarantee’s, no promises just the hope that I keep this mind state and don’t allow others or my own negative impulses to offset this revelation, reason being I know for sure that this is the way for me to proceed with my life in order to obtain further inner peace which was disrupted by a few vultures and creeps of late. It wont happen again, as this door is closed emotionally and these entities and people no longer have access to my life, my existence and my head space. To these emotions, peoples and entities I say adios go with Godspeed.
I am for better or worse a work in progress we all are in some sense. I guess it’s called evolving something I hope I never stop doing.
God Bless whoever your God may be!
Dante Ross
October 7th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
word.